Give Up?
by AnkouRavien
Summary: Is too soon to give up? Or do you have to give up now? Or maybe... not give up at all?


How long has it been?

I wonder why I'm still trying hard here. Sometimes I regret myself to not give up a long time ago, but sometimes when I want to give up, I don't feel right about it. I can't stop here, but I feel like I have to know when to stop. Is it now?

I sigh as I look at my classmates. They're circling that one girl like usual. We both have the same hobby: drawing.

Everyone knows her as a good drawer, but...

What about me?

I always feel dumb when I raise my art in class before the teacher comes and be like "Look, guys! I drew something!", but everyone is just looking at it, not saying a single word.

You can at least say a thing! I don't mind "your artwork is sh-t" or other mockery! I just want some comments!

...

But my life changes when I met my seniors.

I stop drawing since junior high school. No one comments my art. I don't know what the other artists think, but as an artist, comments are precious, you know?

But one of my seniors said something about my art.

"Keep drawing like this! It's so cute!"

Just by that, I was moved. I begin drawing again with the new hope.

* * *

"Hey, I draw all of us!" I shout as I show my art to the seniors.

The black haired boy smiles. "Nice!"

"Chibi!" The red haired girl shouts happily. "I love every chibi!"

"Maybe I would draw you, Rose," the boy says.

"I'm looking forward to it, Raven!" I smile at him.

My name is Rose. I'm a 2nd year student. I used to hang around with my friends on the same grade, but not anymore. Lately I'm having more fun with them, even though they're seniors.

The black haired boy is Raven. He's so annoying that you can't get annoyed easily if you're used to talking with him. He rarely draws something, but his drawing is good.

The red haired girl is Elesis. She likes drawing, just like me. Her drawings are so cool!

"Anyway, go to your class, Rose. It's almost time," the white haired boy says.

"But Add!" I just stare at him.

This white haired boy is Add. He's treated as a god by the other seniors for some reason, but he doesn't mind. We all know he's just a normal human.

The homeroom teacher enters the class. "Hey! Miss Rena!" I wave my hand at the green haired elf. She greets me back and smiles.

This green haired elf is Miss Rena, my seniors' homeroom teacher. She's easily sick, but she's so nice to us.

"Miss, can I end today's school day here? Please?" I beg.

Rena smiles and shakes her head. "You can't, Rose. Go to your class."

I say bye to my friends and go back to my class. Sigh... I have no friend here.

Most of them used to be my friends, but they're always with THAT GIRL! They don't come when I'm sad or upset. It's time to have my anti social life.

* * *

The next day, Raven gives me his drawing just like he said yesterday. "How can you draw this in a short time? That's so cool!" I praise.

"Of course!" he smiles proudly, "If you keep drawing, you can be like me in no time!"

I hate that overconfident side of him, but I can't help it. No problem!

Elesis is drawing her friends. "Hey, Elesis! Draw me please!" I beg.

"Sure," she nods.

"Can you draw me with headstand position?" I ask.

Surprisingly, she really drew it. "So cute!" I praise her.

Of course, she draws chibis. I don't know why she loves chibi so much. She only draws the lineart, though. I wish she wanted to finish it.

* * *

I was happy, until I realize something: they're going to graduate first from the school.

I'm glad that they're graduated and move to college, but...

...I'm alone here.

As a 3rd year student, I only chat with random juniors. I have few friends on the same year, though.

But this is so stressful.

I can only talk with my seniors through the social media because they're busy. I used to have at least a single comment on my art, but not anymore. I understand that they're busy, but why can I accept it? I'm still wishing that someone would comment on it, or at least someone on the same year would finally comment when I raise my art with my hands in the class like an idiot.

Why are they still not saying anything?!

I'm trying to show off many times, desperately trying to get a comment or mockery. I don't care. I just want someone to say anything.

I even draw at the class' whiteboard, but then, you know what?

"Rose, I'll erase it, okay? The teacher will come in any second and she'll use this."

I'm so angry that I yell at my classmate. "Erase it already! Nobody even cares!"

Of course, nobody says anything after I said that. Everyone wouldn't to reply anyway, right?

I'm trying to get everyone's attention after the seniors' graduated by doing something stupid. I begin skipping classes, having a bad score on every subject (even the subject I like), making a trouble in class when the teacher is teaching, making my parents get called by the principal because of my bad scores, posting arts on every social medias I know, making dramas everywhere. My homeroom teacher talks to me about my attitude on class, but I don't think she understand what I feel. Still...

I'm not satisfied.

No one says a thing about my art. No one even ask about my sudden bad score.

I compare the number of likes on my art with the others' art on social media.

I made some art for 3 days, but the number of likes is still fewer than the others' sketch or some people who just learn to draw.

I'm so sad and upset at the same time. I have mixed feelings. I stop using the social media except the one to chat with my seniors and 1 website for my future portfolio or something.

I always yell at Raven on chat. I feel bad for him because he's not on the fault but I tell him every single thing I hate right now. He always read everything I chat and try to cheer me up.

Until one day, I decided to give up.

I don't want to create arts anymore. I have this one app on my phone. It's an app where people on a certain game gather and chat. I don't want to tell my seniors, so I decide to tell the group on this app, even though I never met them.

I tell them how I feel about this to one guy. His nickname is Lacher. I'm hoping I could tell the others too, but looks like they're not online.

But he tells me this:

"You can't give up! Don't say that word!"

I can't respond anything. I keep staring at the screen.

"There are 2 kinds of people in this world:

1\. People who give up and lose their chance

2\. People who keeps going because they're strong

I chose the first one. Don't be like me."

I keep silent. Once again, I'm easily moved by other people's word. I really, really want to give up, but he already chose the first one, right? He experienced it.

I smile as I type to reply his chat. "Thanks a lot, Lacher. I won't give up! XD"

Even though I still have those mixed feelings, I decide to draw again. I remember I'm joining a Christmas Event on the app. It's trading gift with the others and you have to guess who gives you the present.

I draw something for someone called "Queen of Nasod" in the app. I do it in last minute with the hope she would like my present.

After we get our gift, we have to make a blog about it and guess who gave it. A few hours passed and finally the Queen of Nasod created the blog.

She already knew it's me who drew it and she said she loves it. I'm so happy until I found these words of her:

"Don't get discouraged by number of likes, because I would put a million hearts if I could!"

I'm astonished. I don't know how to feel. Happy? Moved? Sad?

Until now, I'm still drawing. Somehow I don't care about number of likes anymore. I don't even care if someone doesn't give a like to my art.

Because I know that someone will say something about it.

That's why... I won't give up!

* * *

 _This is literally me telling you my story. Sorry for making you read this bullsh-t drama queen story XD_

 _Well, not exactly like this, though. But you get the point~_


End file.
